If you are anything like The POET, losing your voice, perceptions, and yourself in loving someone is the ultimate NO NO. Similar to most, I have been in a long term relationship, where taking care of myself was put on the back burner, only to make my whole world about my spouse. I lost my desire to care for myself properly and to nurture myself spiritually, emotionally, and physically. So, losing your power in a relationship is a valid concern.
Independence is a great quality, there is nothing like knowing you can take care of yourself. The only thing, it can cause a problem in a relationship. A relationship is about unity and compromising, the complete opposite of being independent! You ignore your natural urge to navigate through your life in exactly the manner you wish to; having to consider someone else’s feelings. So, is it a way to exist fairly in a relationship, while making yourself top priority?
I have to say YES! But, it will take two, complete person to make this work. I think that the two people in the relationship have to both have the experience of being in a relationship where they felt they lost their voice/power. Most importantly, they have to understand the power dynamic in a relationship. You know what that is! There is usually the person that pull all the strings, and pretty much control everything from the big decisions do the daily chores. This usually makes the superior person selfish and the inferior person quite resentful. So, if two mature adults can work towards healthy positive confrontation, this can make all the difference in the power struggle in a relationship. So, if one feels as though one is being unfair, the other can effectively pull the other up on their power tripping ………..Hence, the couple can work together in the power issue and maintain self-gratification. So, both persons don’t have to fight for the higher ground, all while staying on their own personal ground!
To sum it up, I think giving up your power in a relationship can turn into the sharing of power in a mature relationship. You can keep your independence and self-care all while being in complete love with another being. This sounds like the perfect love, right? Poets, what do you think? Can you be independent and still exist in a great partnership?