UNDER CONSTRUCTION………..REVAMP ON THE WAY!

I am overjoyed for what God is bringing to fruition! I have learned a long time ago that patience is KEY and anything I set my mind to do………..I will do! It is my dream to revamp my whole brand and look of my website. For almost ten years, I have been doing this singlehandedly and now I know that I have to trust God and the right people to help me convey my message. And that is okay with me, so I will not be posting while I continue to make this website great. When you see it again, it will be beautiful and offer all of the new products I have to share with my Poets. Thank you for your support and I can’t wait to share with you all in the summer of 2017!

Don’t forget about your POET and continue to follow my craziness on my social media sites!
Until me meet again my loves
I am completely in love with all of you

THE POET

Vlog/Weekly Update On My Weightloss Journey! I’m DOWN Six Pounds! (VIDEO)

Poets, I am appreciative that you guys have invested in my weight loss journey! It started off as a competition alongside my closest friends, but it is slowly becoming a lifestyle change. I am learning to be open to different, healthier foods. I actually take time now to see what is in my food through the packaging and found myself putting it down and creating my own dishes! This week exercising have been a challenge, nevertheless I use my KHLOE Kardashian BODY vision board to keep me motivated! I pray your journey is becoming easier I will see you next Wednesday for an update.

Vlog: Day One of My Weight loss Journey!

So, I decided to document my 12- week weight loss journey for my POETS! My brand is my openness, so I wanted to let you all in on this very personal journey. I battled obesity since childhood and at the age of 27 decided to undergo gastric bypass weighing in at 350 at my heaviest. I also battled hypertension, type 2 diabetes, depression, and sleep paralysis. I lost over one hundred pounds, but still struggle to my goal weight of 180 (I’m 5’10…..so that is 150 in the skinny bish vocabulary! So, journey with me and I pray it inspires you to fight towards yours weight loss dreams! Lets kick obesity’s ASS!

Enjoy my video diary!

VLOG! Reflections On My Spiritual/Personal Quest On Defining Who God Is In My Life!

I don’t know who this is suppose to help and heal. I woke up this morning and started the day with my normal meditation. Shortly after I set my intentions, lit my candle and sage; tears gushed down. I actually heard my tears hit my yoga mat and I just allowed God to speak to my soul. I just kept thanking him for the intense, powerful experience the night prior conversing with an old friend. We shared secrets, things we both have been carrying that kept us burdened. I felt truly released!

I don’t mean to get deep, I just know this can resonate with someone’s spirit!
Excuse my appearance, I rolled out of bed and straight to my meditation altar!
God bless you all and let’s continue to let God work through us! #Godthroughme #Godthroughyou

Dedicated to My True Love, Troy! Part TWO of Our Adoption Story!

motherson
Have you ever got stuck midway through a sentence, literally losing all train of thought? I have, explaining to my six-year-old son about adoption and what it means to our family. This conversation is definitely on my top 5 list of things that was difficult to experience. Nevertheless, that moment was not as immobilizing as my journey through infertility and how my son actually ended that vicious cycle. So, let’s get back to the story……….

I grab his hand and led him into the room alone. As soon as I opened my mouth, tears started to flow. Troy squeezed my hand and said, “Mommy it’s okay, you can tell me anything”. Little did he know, he brought sheer comfort in an emotionally crippling moment. I opened my mouth and said……………………………………………….

“Yes baby, everything will be okay. We will be stronger after we talk about this”, I replied.
In that moment, I wiped my tears and knew I had to put my mommy panties on! I had to demonstrate strength, to ensure my boy was okay. Troy is a true momma’s boy and adopts whatever emotion I feel. So, I had to find joy in this situation because a positive attitude was my only shot for painting a beautiful picture in regards to adoption. My goal was to give him security and make sure he associated great things with his adoption.
Firstly, I reminded him of the time we went into the store to adopt a cat. I read literature early on in my adoption experience and the parent (In the article) compared adoption to a family going into a store to adopt an animal. PERFECT (I know it seems strange but bear with me)! Troy loves animals and I knew if I tied our experience with adopting our first pet, the topic would resonate with him.
“Troy, remember when we went into the animal shelter and saw so many animals that needed a home”, I asked.
“I remember Mommy’, he said.
I tried so hard to fight tears because his little face had a look of concern, that I have never seen. It was as if he knew whatever I was about to say would change his view on life and family forever. Humanly, I struggle with him looking at me as though I was not his REAL mother. I pushed my OWN emotions and invasive thoughts down, swallowed my fear to complete the task at hand.
“Well, we found the perfect cat and we all just knew it was meant for us to take that specific cat home. We knew we wanted to ADOPT her into our family and home. Do you understand adoption?”, I asked.
He just looked at me with a confuse look and shrugged his shoulders indicating that he had no clue.
“It’s when a family welcomes an animal or even a baby into their home because that animal or baby does not have family. That family has so much love to give, that they take the baby or animal home with them to shower them with so much love. That is how you came into my life”, I said.
“You are adopted, “I blurted out.
He just looked at me and I could tell his little mind was running rapid with questions.
“Are you okay, Troy”, I asked.
He told me he was fine, I knew better. I knew I had to be patience and let him come to me with his questions whenever he was ready. But I had no way of preparing for the next question.
“So, I was not in your stomach like Destiny and Tyler?”, he asked.
I was surprised, but appreciated his ability to grasp the whole concept of adoption.
“That’s right baby, you did not grow in mommy’s stomach. You grew in my heart. See, before you I was sad. I wanted a baby so bad and it just would not happen. Then God allowed for us to meet and we were just meant to be. I needed you and you needed me. We found a home in one another”, I said.
I was a nervous wreck on the inside, I knew my delivery was not perfect. Between the tears and holding my son’s hand for dear life, my only prayer was that he felt my love. I know no one is perfect, but my son comes pretty close. He continued to ask questions that impressed, proving he was actually understanding my words. That conversation ended with tears from both sides. But, it was the final request that surprised the HELL out of me!
He asked me to keep his adoption a secret, he did not want anyone to know but his dad and I. He had no idea that he was actually the last to know, I chalked it up to him creating a coping mechanism to help deal with all the new information he received. I knew that we had a lifetime of growing within our adoption experience together. That day was not flawless, but it was a great start in finally incorporating him into our adoption experience. THE SECRET WAS FINALLY OUT!
Well, until he was finally ready to tell his little sister and grandmothers………………………………….
Come back for part 3!

motherson

PICTURE COURTESY OF GOOGLE

Dedicated To My True Love, Troy! Our Journey Through Adoption!

mothersonMy son and I are journeying through our seventh year of adoption. His first few years were filled with sweet mush and the scent of baby lotion! It was not until a year ago, that that innocence was tainted. I told my son that he was adopted and we started feeling the first wave of turbulence on our expedition. No longer was this ride smooth or one sided. I was the only one bearing the burden of telling my son that he was adopted, I wished I could shelter him forever from this reality. Now, it was time to let him in on the secret that I forced deep into my conscious mind. Let’s get into the story!
I have been rehearsing the lines for years, probably since he was a baby. Quite honestly, I dreaded the day I had to tell my first true love that we were not biologically connected. We were connected through spirits and our souls. In my opinion, I felt more close to Troy then my two biological daughters. He is my soul mate, kindred spirits who had to exist together in this lifetime. My fear was that this would be disrupted once he knew the truth. Would he think that we were not really this dynamic mother/son duo? Would he love me any less? Would he want to know his biological mother and forget about me? I am actually tearing up writing this because these questions are still unanswered.
I initially wanted to wait until Troy was around ten to tell him about his adoption, but around his sixth birthday I had an intense urge to tell him. I tried to fight the urge because my children were already going through a divorce due to my marriage crumpling. It just did not seem fair to put all that on a six year old. Troy is intelligent and spiritually in tuned with his mother. The uncomfortable energy was getting too much to bear and we both felt it. I am so honest with my children about life because I have an unconventional approach to life.
It is not uncommon for me to sit Indian style with my children on the floor (or nature) as we exchange stories about our day. This day was different. We did not have family talk, but Troy was drawn to me like a moth to the light. It was as though he knew our lives would be forever changed, causing him to feel as though he had to cling to me. I never wanted his adoption to make him feel isolated or that he didn’t belong. He never have to fight for his rightful place, he always would be my first true, unconditional love. He taught me how to not give up on love even if your insecurities feel as though they’re smothering you. I was so paranoid to do adoption because I knew it would be challenging, but once I first locked eyes with Troy……………I knew that he was worth any price I had to pay regarding adoption. He was my son. I was his mother and I spent 25 years preparing for that very moment.

I grab his hand and led him into the room alone. As soon as I opened my mouth, tears started to flow. Troy squeezed my hand and said, “Mommy its okay, you can tell me anything”. Little did he know, he brought sheer comfort in an emotionally crippling moment. I opened my mouth and said………………………………………………..
Come back next week for part two!

Forgiveness Is Necessary!

Years ago, my mother said something to me that left me in complete anger. She told me that I had a problem with forgiveness, which caused me to throw people away like trash. Was she right? In my heart, I knew it was the truth. When people hurt my feelings or did the opposite of what I wanted them to do, I simply discarded them because they was no longer useful to my life. I know that sound harsh, but that was my certitude.
How dare my mother say such a statement?. At the time, I could not receive it because I was not ready to accept that I had real issues that not only harmed myself; but others. That immaturity caused me to be blinded to my shortcomings. Then, the relationship between my mother and I was strained, to say the least. I blamed her for a lot of my “FUCKEDUPNESS” and at the time I was in no position to take criticism from the person who I thought was responsible for my pain. Fast forward years later, three children, a divorce, independence like I never seen before, and falling in love again……………….FORGIVENESS has been my saving grace. It has single handedly been the end to my own suffering and bad energy. It does not come easy because this girl could hold a grudge………FOR YEARS! It allows me to forgive almost instantly, if I feel pained or hurt from someone’s words or actions. Even if I can not forgive in that very moment or shortly after, my heart is now conditioned to accept that no matter what……I will forgive. I did not have that clarity years before. Forgiveness causes me to now love my partner, even after I feel as though my heart has been broken (HEARTache ain’t no WHORE!). No matter what we go through, I come right back after cooling off because that is what unconditional love details. It is kind and patience. If you are a parent, you understand how your children can break your heart a million times over. I had to learn that unconditional love means to love my children even when they display the ugliest behaviours. I can not just love them when they make their mother look great! Forgiveness and love go hand in hand. Until you realize that, experiencing pure love is not possible. Even learning to love my mother as a perfect child of God, have been my pleasure. I choose to forgive everything I felt she failed to give me. I discovered she loved me perfectly and to the best of her ability. When I did that, I could finally remember all the wonderful things she did give me.
I say all of this to say…………………Forgiveness is necessary. If you want to evolve into a better version of yourself, it starts with forgiveness. Only the ability to forgive will help you make peace with your past and forgive everyone (or everything) that has caused you grief.
Choose forgiveness today!

A Couple’s Infertility Announcements Gone Viral!

infertility1I am a sucker for infertility stories because of my own experience with the DEMON for seven years! I have been blessed to conceive (I actually got a chance to mother through adoption, a successful IVF cycle, and eventually naturally!). Some women NEVER get to their desire destination, so I wanted to share this cute story that has gone viral. It depicts a young couple using humor to cope with the devastating emotions of infertility.
The couple at the center of all of this is Spencer and Whitney Blake, who struggled to conceive for four years. To help others in the same situation, the Nampa, Idaho-based couple created tongue-in-cheek infertility announcements on their blog, parodying the pregnancy ones seen on Face book and Instagram. “Humor has always been one of our coping mechanisms,” Spencer tells US Weekly Magazine.infertility2
Their spoofs have since been shared hundreds of thousands of times. One split image features a shot of a beaming Whitney standing in front of a BUMP AHEAD sign with both hands on her belly; in the other she looks distraught in front of a DEAD END sign.
The Good Morning Idaho news anchor and his wife, both 30, were diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” in 2011 after undergoing numerous tests and procedures. “The sorrow of infertility was absolutely crushing,” Whitney tell Us. “It used to be such a consuming part of my life….Between the daily doctors’ appointments, kits, pills, drugs and tests…between other people’s baby showers and pregnancy announcements…it’s kind of hard to forget, even when you’re trying not to dwell.” infertility3
Adding insult to injury: Whitney had to deal with insensitive — and unsolicited — advice. “Comments that were dismissive often hurt the most. Statements prefaced by ‘at least’ or ‘maybe you should’ were very grating,” she admits. “It always meant so much to us when someone would reach out and say, ‘I’m sorry you have had to go through this.’”
But the Blakes’ story has a happy ending. The pair adopted their first son in 2012 and another boy in 2014. The brothers are now ages 4 and 2. “There are times that I literally marvel that I get to be their mommy,” gushes Whitney. “Sometimes when I’m reading them stories all cuddled up on the couch, or when I’m kissing their cheeks as I tuck them in at night, I think, ‘There was a time when I didn’t think I could have this moment.’” infertility4
I am so happy this story met a happy ending. If you have not read about my inspiring story with overcoming infertility, just click the Amazon link on my blog’s homepage! Journey to Destiny Traveling Through Infertility!

Girlfriend Chat Of The Day! Self Forgiveness Is Vital!

girlfriend chatHow could you ever trust yourself again after that terrible decision you made in falling in love with a married man? How could you ever forgive yourself for giving your children up because you wanted to “live life’? How could you ever forgive yourself for lying, just to get ahead? How could you ever forgive yourself for gossiping about a friend, just to make yourself feel superior? How could you ever forgive yourself for verbally lashing someone who is not emotionally stable as you are?
There is good news and an answer! It’s called compassionate self forgiveness…………it’s that easy. How the hell are you going to begin the process of self trust without it? How else can you move past this hurdle to get back to truly enjoying life again? It’s through giving your enough lenience to grow from your mistake.
Personally, one major hurdle of my adulthood was letting go of the God my mother gave me. I grew up in a Christian home, where my mother introduced me to a God who would sent you straight to hell if I sinned. Yes, I was taught the story of redemption and Jesus dying on the cross; but when you believe God is someone who will make your life miserable if you make a mistake………..how can you take comfort in the good part? Your childlike imagination only sees this big, bad wolf waiting for you to mess up so you can be chastised. This is not who Christ is and I did not learn that he was truly my friend until I could study for myself. It wasn’t until I could experience life, learning lessons through others and studying that my perception of Christ took a sweeter turn. If I never “messed up or sinned”, I would have never searched for the latter. And, that is how self forgiveness works. If you never messed up, you would never be vulnerable enough to adopt a new way of thinking and doing things. So, today I pray that your heart is lightened and you will be gentle with your own heart. You have to give yourself enough compassion and time to truly forgive your mistakes, so you can trust yourself to be an exceptional person again. Hell, if you don’t think you are worth a second chance……who else will? The truth is that you do deserve a second, third, and fourth chance to perfect yourself. You deserve to be loved pass your poor choices. You deserve to know that life can be a rich experience, despite what you have been taught or through. So, do it (FORGIVE YOURSELF) and work towards building a great future who wants to manifest your dreams.

Why Do We Rush Through Life? A Glimpse Of My Truth!

2016-01-11 23.01.36_resized (1)A huge reason why I gave up blogging two years ago was because I was exhausted trying to get the next big story! I was obsessed with the lives of celebrities because my blog subscribers only wanted to hear about the rich and famous opposed from the blogs promoting self-health, healing, or spirituality. I wanted to keep up with the bigger gossip sites in hopes of building my own blog to a “mainstream” status. Boy, was I a huge fool. I was more interesting in pleasing people, who would NEVER be satisfied with my moves oppose to creating my own happiness. My relationship, my kids, and friendships took a back seat to my aspirations as being the most beloved and financially successful blog. Being exhausted was an understatement. So, I just abruptly stopped. I stop blogging, promoting my first book, and writing my second. I dedicated myself to sit the hell down and found out what I truly wanted and what would make me happy. I refuse to rush through another day, pressing to achieve the impossible while I was EMPTY.

The conclusion after tons of self-searching was that I simply wanted to slow down. I wanted to rid all the ridiculous deadlines. I wanted to write with purpose again and that meant personal journaling rather than blogging. Through studying my own thoughts on paper, I had to do more than just dream…….it was time to act! I left my marriage, I created another home for my kids and I; I started the task of recognizing my flaws. I put in some hard work, which led to sad nights and lonely days. I was left alone without my safety net, which were my children. Never in my whole adult life was I single and only had time to face myself. So, when I was allowed the time to stop rushing through life, meeting deadlines, chasing dreams (because confronting my personal life was too strenuous of a task); I faced myself.

I took time to read on my porch on a breezy, spring day. I took myself out on dates. I cried loudly when I craved a loving, romantic bond. I started meditating with my children. I started praying out loud all the time. I took long walks barefooted. I cooked different, exotic dishes. I took my kids out alone and handling three, small kids is no easy task. I found spirituality and God through nature. I visited different places of worship. I got to a happy place and understood that I did not have to rush life ever again. I can create and enjoy moments. Yes, I am back to making personal deadlines, but no one dictates when I write. I truly write as a labor a love and my aspirations don’t hold me hostage any longer. If I want to go sit on the aisle of Barnes & Noble and read a book, instead of Keeping Up With The Kardashians on the blog…..I choose to sit and read!

Stop rushing through life, enjoy the ride. Create memories that will last as a sweet spot in your heart and mind!